8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Just puked most of my soul out..
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