WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
