Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
