is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
