Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
