just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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