I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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