The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
