But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he wants to bone in the snuggie
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
