I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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