well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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