is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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