Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
