half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
