and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize