I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
