I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
