She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
