thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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