i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize