All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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