i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Everything about him screamed your future.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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