THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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