Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
