I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize