I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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