How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
