Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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