i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
