my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
