And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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