im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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