he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
