Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
