She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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