I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
