Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
