I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
