Porn is love you can see.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
