I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
this boner is exhausting
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Randomize
