U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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