He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
