careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My penis needs a shock collar
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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