I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize