I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The adults are the big ones right?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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