We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
