your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
