i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
