I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize