question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
