***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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