I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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