She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
