11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize