I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
