She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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