So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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