I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
