i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
