College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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