we're blogging at a bar
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
